38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
