So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize