hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize