my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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