that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
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Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
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We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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