I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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