I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
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I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts