FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule