I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
