Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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