If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
