lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
