plz talk dirty to me
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf