Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK