your thong is hanging out like whoa
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's no shave November. This is our time.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic