And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird