put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love