I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...