tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
