Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize