I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
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