I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
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This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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