sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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