Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.