we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
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My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
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He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar