Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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