you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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