That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
