They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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