i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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