who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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