Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
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You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
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I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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