i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize