Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
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Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
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Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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