Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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