Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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