I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
