all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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