i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
