dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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