U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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