But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
