Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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