I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
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i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
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And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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