Texts From Last Night

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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.

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  (660): I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/ahlc
  Replies (16) Good night (4184) Bad night (742) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.

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  (630): he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/2ce1
  Replies (24) Good night (1855) Bad night (9568) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf

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  (208): Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf http://tfl.nu/yxjw
  Replies (6) Good night (3632) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.

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  (859): Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours. http://tfl.nu/gzj7
  Replies (5) Good night (4920) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.

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  (270): He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in. http://tfl.nu/fxk7
  Replies (8) Good night (600) Bad night (3099) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.

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  (650): It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water. http://tfl.nu/g5w6
  Replies (14) Good night (690) Bad night (2517) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.

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  (760): She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle. http://tfl.nu/ihsx
  Replies (4) Good night (2580) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..

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  (616): i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent.. http://tfl.nu/zm5m
  Replies (17) Good night (2337) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP

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  (630): This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP http://tfl.nu/camw
  Replies (11) Good night (4787) Bad night (1310) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."

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  (850): He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket." http://tfl.nu/lw9r
  Replies (2) Good night (1398) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....

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  (909): and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests".... http://tfl.nu/4e7u
  Replies (5) Good night (3403) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk

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  (713): He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk http://tfl.nu/6kdn
  Replies (7) Good night (1409) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.

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  (701): Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single. http://tfl.nu/d9fj
  Replies (2) Good night (724) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.

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  (914): Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo. http://tfl.nu/y2dk
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.

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  (215): no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus. http://tfl.nu/psky
  Replies (7) Good night (750) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt

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