I forgot how hot balto sounded
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
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I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
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we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.