Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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