What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize