ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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