I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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