If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.