Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.