All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
