If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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