We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
