garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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