Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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