oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.