it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i will never coherently bang her
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.