I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize