last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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